It’s 2am within the obstetrics and gynaecology emergency division of Assahaba Medical Advanced in Gaza Metropolis. By the open home windows, I can hear the unending hum of drones within the sky above, however other than that, it’s quiet. A breeze flows by way of the empty corridor, granting reduction from the warmth, and a smooth blue glow emanates from the few lights which can be on. I’m six months right into a yearlong internship and 12 hours right into a 16-hour shift. I’m so drained that I might go to sleep right here on the admissions desk, however within the calm, a uncommon sense of peace envelopes me.
It’s quickly shattered by a girl crying in ache. She is bleeding and gripped by cramps. We study her and inform her that she has misplaced her unborn child – the kid she has dreamed of assembly. The lady was newly married, however only a month after her marriage ceremony, her husband was killed in an air raid. The kid she was carrying – a 10-week-old embryo – was their first and can be their final.
Her face is pale, as if her blood has frozen with the shock. There’s anguish, denial, and screams. Her screams draw the eye of others, who collect round her as she falls to the bottom. We revive her, solely to return her to her struggling. However now she is silent – there are not any cries, no expression. Having misplaced her husband, she now endures the ache of dropping what she hoped can be a residing reminiscence of him.

Life insists on arriving
It’s my sixth evening shift in obstetrics and gynaecology. I’m alleged to rotate by way of different departments – spending two months in every – however I’ve already determined to turn into a gynaecologist throughout this rotation. Being on this ward brings pleasure to my life – it’s the place life begins, and it teaches me that hope is current whatever the horrible issues we’re enduring.
Giving delivery in a warfare zone – amid bombing, starvation, and concern – means life and loss of life coexist. Generally, I nonetheless wrestle to know how life insists on arriving on this place surrounded by loss of life.
It amazes me that moms proceed to deliver youngsters right into a world during which survival feels unsure. If the bombings don’t take us, starvation may. However what surprises me most is the resilience and endurance of my folks. They consider their youngsters will stay on to hold an necessary message: That regardless of what number of you have got killed, Gaza responds by refusing to be erased.
Childbirth is much from simple. It’s bodily and emotionally exhausting, and moms in Gaza endure excruciating ache with out entry to fundamental ache reduction. Since March, the hospital has seen a extreme scarcity of fundamental provides, together with ache reduction medicine and anaesthetics. After they cry out as I sew their tear wounds with out anaesthesia, I really feel helpless, however I attempt to distract them by telling them how lovely their infants are and reassuring them that they’ve gotten by way of the toughest half.
With fixed starvation right here, many pregnant girls are fatigued and don’t acquire sufficient weight throughout being pregnant. When the time involves ship, they’re exhausted even earlier than they start to push. Consequently, their labour could be extended, which suggests extra ache for the mom. If a child’s heartbeat slows, she may want an emergency Cesarean part.
Practising medication right here is much from perfect. Hospitals are overwhelmed, and sources are severely restricted. We’re continuously battling shortages of medical provides. On each evening shift, I work with one gynaecologist, three nurses and three midwives. I often take care of the better duties, equivalent to assessing situations, suturing small tear wounds, and aiding with regular deliveries. A gynaecologist takes the extra sophisticated instances, and a surgeon performs the elective and emergency Caesarean sections.
The surgeon at all times reminds us to minimise the consumption of gauze and sutures as a lot as potential, and to save lots of them for the subsequent affected person who might arrive in determined want. I attempt to discard and substitute gauze solely after it’s fully saturated with blood.
Energy outages make issues much more tough. The electrical energy cuts out a number of occasions a day, plunging the supply room into darkness. In these moments, we’ve got no selection however to change on our cellphone flashlights to information our fingers.
Throughout a latest shift, the electrical energy went out for practically 10 minutes after a child was born. The mom’s placenta hadn’t been delivered but, so we used our cellphone lights to assist her.
Most of the finest medical professionals in Gaza have been killed, like Dr Basel Mahdi and his brother, Dr Raed Mahdi, each gynaecologists. They had been killed whereas on obligation at Mahdi Maternity Hospital in November 2023. Numerous others have fled Gaza.
More often than not, the medical doctors round me are too overworked to supply steering or educate me the sensible expertise I had hoped to study, although they fight their finest.
Nonetheless, some moments pierce by way of the exhaustion and remind me why I selected this path within the first place. These encounters stick with me longer than any lecture or textbook might.

At daybreak, a brand new child
Throughout one shift, a pregnant lady got here in for a routine check-up, accompanied by her five-year-old daughter, whose smile lit up the room. She had come to study the newborn’s gender.
As I ready the ultrasound, I turned and playfully requested the little woman, “Would you like it to be a boy or a lady?”
With out hesitation, she mentioned, “A boy.”
Stunned by her certainty, I gently requested why. Earlier than she might reply, her mom quietly defined. “She doesn’t desire a woman. She’s afraid she’ll lose her – like she misplaced her older sister, who was killed on this newest assault.”
One other day, a girl in her tenth week of being pregnant got here to the obstetrics clinic after being informed by a physician that her child’s coronary heart was not beating. As I carried out an ultrasound to examine the fetus, to my shock and reduction, I detected a heartbeat.
The lady cried with pleasure. On that day, I witnessed life the place it was thought to have been misplaced.
Tragedy touches each a part of our lives in Gaza. It’s woven into our most intimate moments, even across the pleasure of anticipating a brand new life. Security is a luxurious we’ve by no means recognized.
At 6am, as daybreak breaks on the morning of my shift, we welcome a brand new child born to a mom from the Jabalia camp in northern Gaza, an space surrounded by Israeli troopers and tanks. As the primary rays of daylight pierce the supply room, the mom cries glad tears, her face flushed as she hugs her child woman.
Having endured an evening crammed with concern, missiles, and snipers, the mom and her household managed to achieve the hospital safely. On this second, they have a good time and discover a cause to hope once more.